Lady Lunchalot

You’re never going to believe what O did last week.

He called me before lunch last Wednesday to tell me that our Brisbane friends, Jo and Dave, were in town for the night and that as it was Jo’s birthday the four of us were going to celebrate at one of my favourite restaurants, Da Noi. Jo and Dave often fly into town for a quick visit, and I was ecstatic about an out-of-the-blue dinner at Da Noi, so I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

But things weren’t quite as they seemed. O managed to explain away the “missed turn” that took us into the city instead of towards South Yarra, and as we turned into Spencer St he told me that he’d lied to me.

Jo and Dave were actually still in Brisbane and we weren’t going to Da Noi at all.

Instead he’d booked the two of us a table at Vue de Monde!

For those of you who haven’t heard of Vue de Monde, it’s a restaurant on Little Collins St that is ranked among the top 100 restaurants in the world, and has culinary virtuoso Shannon Bennett conducting the orchestra from the kitchen.

There was so much going on in this place (service, decor, wine - everything) and all of it amazing. Even the cutlery felt good in my mouth! But for the sake of simplicity I’ve decided just to focus on the food.

Vue de Monde offers a couple of different degustation menus. O and I decided to throw ourselves in the deep end and indulge in the full 10 course gastronome’s menu, complete with wine matching for each course.

Omigod.

We started with an amuse bouche (translates literally as “fun mouth”?) of a couple of escargots with champagne.

I have to say, when you start any evening with escargots and champagne, it’s already been a fantastic evening.

Next we moved on to dehydrated smoked salmon (they called it salmon jerky) with a fish emulsion and caviar, before picking up speed with poached pigeon served with an apple and parsnip remoulade and beetroot foam. Neither of us had tasted pigeon before and O cooed through the entire dish. I was surprised by how unpoultry-like it was. It tasted like a very rare, soft red meat.

Next up was one of my favourites - a five minute bouillabaisse, served over a tartare of crayfish and buffalo milk skin, finished with aromatic herbs and caviar. The dish came in an elaborate glass percolator complete with a small gas burner. The broth bubbled up from a glass decanter into a funnel which contained herbs and aromatics. When the burner was turned off, the broth cooled back down into the decanter, taking with it the essence of the herbs in the funnel. The stock was then poured over the crayfish, magically dissolving the mozzarella di buffala before your eyes.

Pure drama. I loved it.

As you can see, I didn’t take any photos. This was pretty deliberate. There’s no way my fuzzy amateur photography could do justice to such incredible food!

Vue de Monde was kind enough to send me the menu that we ate on the night, which I’ve listed below. I have to say, the meal cost an absolute bomb, but every mouthful was worth it. Each dish was truly a work of art, and I did feel a little as though I was in the Louvre for food.

I am so fortunate to have been able to have had such an amazing experience, and of course, such a thoughtful husband to surprise me with it. Thanks O, I love you!

If you ever get the opportunity, just hang the expense and go! It’s an experience you will never forget.

Our 10-Course Menu Gourmand from Vue de Monde

SAUMON AUX EPICES
Salmon jerky with salted fish emulsion and Sterling caviar
NV Larmandier Bernier Terre de Vertus Blanc de Blanc Champagne, France

SALADE DE PIGEON
Pigeon, poached, with an apple and parsnip remoulade, beetroot foam
NV Romate Sanchez NPU Amontillado Jerez, Spain

BOUILLABAISSE
5 minute bouillabaisse, tartare of crayfish and buffalo milk skin, finished with aromatic herbs and caviar
2004 Domaine Marc Bredif, Vouvray Loire Valley, France

PAIN PERDU ACCOMPAGNE DE SON FOIE GRAS
French toast and foie gras flavoured with eight spice
2004 Vinoptima Gewurztraminer Reserve Gisborne, New Zealand

MORUE DE MURRAY
Murray cod gently cooked ‘en sous-vide’ with a ginger and spring onion sauce, flavoured with spring onion and crispy chicken skin
2004 Domaine Fontaine Gagnard Clos St Jean 1er Cru Chassagne Montrachet Burgundy, France

CONSOMME FROID A LA TOMATE
Delicate tomato consommé with gazpacho jelly

AGNEAU BRAISE
Slow cooked lamb belly with confit loin, lamb bacon and fresh split garden peas
2004 Domaine Pierre Amadieu La Paillousse, Grenache Blend, Châteauneuf du Pape Burgundy, France

SALADE DE COCHONAILLE
Salad of Kurobuta pork and black pudding with cider-marinated carrot ribbons, finished with emulsified pan juices
2002 Château de Chambert La Causse Malbec Cahors, France

FROMAGE
Roy de Vallées with marinated beetroot Pyrénées, France
2005 Vue de monde by T’Gallant Pinot Gris Mornington Peninsula, VIC

GATEAU DE RIZ A LA MANDARINE
Mandarin served with mandarin flavoured rice pudding and encased in sugar
1999 Freiherr Heyl Herrnsheim Nierstein Riesling Ausliese Rheinhessen, Germany

GELEE DE COINGS ET SON SABLE
Quince gel with a frozen quince air and sand flavoured with Great Barrier Reef salt
NV Chambers Old Vine Muscadelle Grand Tokay Rutherglen, VIC.

NOTRE SELECTION DE CAFES, THES, INFUSIONS ET PETITS-FOURS
A selection of coffee, teas, infusions and miniature teacakes

In the red corner is 1+1 Dumpling Noodle, a member of the Footscray culinary elite - a Chinese food heavyweight, if you will. With thousands upon thousands of handmade dumplings under its belt, and a rope of noodle long enough to stretch to outer Mongolia and back, this Xingjian noodle house has proven itself to be a stalwart member of the cutthroat Footscray food scene.

In the blue corner is the newcomer to the ring, Spicy Bar. They’re threatening to take over 1+1 Dumpling Noodle’s monopoly on Xianjian food in this neighborhood. With 1+1 moving down the road to larger premises, Imelda and the Spicy Bar team have taken over their old shopfront in the Footscray market, and they’re offering the same style spicy, meaty, hearty Xianjian food fron the heart of western China.

Is this town big enough for the two of them?

Last night I stopped in at Footscray on the way home, expecting to find my usual beloved 1+1 Dumpling Noodle in its usual place. Instead, there was Spicy Bar. They weren’t quite open yet, but were preparing the place for their launch on Saturday and were road testing a new chef. Imelda welcomed me inside and decided that I would be their guinea pig (I loooooove being a food guinea pig!).

I started with the barbecued lamb skewers. I only ordered one, out of curiosity (and because I looove those charcoally grilled hunks of meat) but three somehow appeared on my plate. They had that beautiful smoky charcoal flavour with an excellent kick of chilli, as well as a few other levels of Asian spices which shall are destined to remain a mystery to such a devoutly European cook as yours truly. Imelda was worried they were a little too salty, but they were perfect to me. The hunks of meat at 1+1 are bigger and meatier than Spicy Bar’s, but as an entree to what inevitably becomes a huge meal, smaller chunks were fine.

Next up was the lamb with noodles. Imelda asked me if I’d like more veggies or more meat, which was a fantastic question, as I had been neglecting my greens for the past few days. I was also asked how spicy I would like it, and I was able to show off the Chinese (Cantonese? Mandarin) that O had picked up on his travels a few years ago and passed on to me. (”Bu yeow” means that you don’t want something.)

It was the perfect level of heat and the meat-noodle-veg ratio was spot on. I will even go so far as to say that it was less oily than 1+1 Dumpling Noodle’s lamb and noodle dishes.

Yes, I know it’s a big call.

As any dyed-in-the-wool dumpling lover would, I took it upon myself to conduct a taste test. Imelda tells me that their specialty is dumplings, while 1+1 really focuses on the noodles.

That sounded like a challenge if I have ever heard one!

I was pretty full, but Imelda was insisting that I try them, and who was I to refuse my gracious host? Their chief dumpling maker whipped up a batch of the best pan-fried seafood dumplings that I have ever had.

There. I said it.

In comparison with the competition, the dumpling skin was finer and the seafood was really fresh (I got the occassional crack of a teensy shrimp as I was eating them). The best part was the crunchy part of the skin where they had been sitting in the pan. And they weren’t oily at all. Though in all fairness, they could have been cooked for a smidge longer, as there were a few that were slightly underdone.

And the even better part is that I couldn’t eat them all so Imelda packed up my leftovers to take home. So there’s more for me to enjoy tonight!

After that meal it looks like 1+1 Dumpling Noodle is facing some stiff competition from the new kids on the block. And the bell rings on Saturday morning, when Spicy Bar officially opens its doors for the first time.

O and I owe a lot to Signor Valvasori and his lovely lady, La Clarkebrese.

We owe them an introduction to a great board game, as they introduced us to the ultimate “test your relationship” board game, Risk. They introduced us to Manchester Lane, a great hideaway to enjoy a good meal and some even better jazz. But most of all, we owe them a huge debt of gratitude for rescuing us from wasting a meal at a certain Chapel Street bakery that shall remain nameless and introducing us to breakfast heaven.

O and I found ourselves hungry on Chapel Street, which, judging from the fashionistas who strut their stuff up and down South Yarra’s temple, it is not unusual to be hungry on Chapel Street. With a few notable exceptions, such as the Prahran Markets, Caffe e Cucina, Patersons Bakery, and the sausage rolls from Williamson’s Pies and Cakes, there’s precious little good food in this neck of the woods.

So we were just about to order an entirely unsatisfying breakfast at the chi-chi bakery that shall remain nameless when we received a text message from Signor Valvasori that proved to be our culinary salvation.

They were just up the road at Spoonful on High Street, a simply decorated cafe that nailed the style demon right in the eye on that fine line between casual French chic and twee nanna-gets-her-groove-back cliche.

I was immediately impressed by the menu and was torn between Breakfast in Paris (baguette, butter, jam and a bowl of coffee), and scrambled herbed eggs with asparagus and toast from La Madre bakery. I am one of those freakish people who seem to get through life just fine without a rush of caffeine coursing through my veins every morning, so I went with the eggs and a hot chocolate. I wasn’t in the mood for a glass of hot milk laced with cocoa that you get from so many cafes, so I asked if they did “proper” hot chocolate. The waitress seemed quite miffed with my question and copped a little bit of attitude after that, which made me feel as though I was having Breakfast in Paris after all. Fortunately the mood passed pretty quickly.

My eggs were outstanding - herby, soft but firm, with crisp toast dripping with fresh butter - and I would definitely put up with the risk of a surly waitress once or twice to get another taste of them. It was the best brekkie I’ve had for ages and I’m definitely looking forward to my next spoonful.

And a big GRAZIE to Signor Valvasori and La Clarkabrese!

I just discovered some photos in my phone taken a few weeks ago at SOS, the new Italian seafood restaurant in Melbourne Central that’s being touted as Melbourne’s new must-dine vegaquarian venue.

SOS is the new star in the Paul Mathis constellation, twinkling up there with his past successes like Taxi, Chocolate Buddha, Blue Train, Soulmama and the after-work drinks staple, Transport. The entire menu at SOS is made from vegetarian dishes or sustainably-produced seafood. Regular readers will know my views on vegetarianism. It’s not often that a veg dish can hold my attention for longer than a couple of mouthfuls. So it was lucky that I didn’t know a thing about SOS when Zarina suggested it as I probably would have been turned off by the idea of a meatless meal.

However there was nothing about these dishes that bored me. I was STARVING when I arrived at SOS for lunch with Zarina and Amelia, partly because I skipped breakfast that day, and partly because I worked up an appetite just trying to find the place. The entrance to SOS looks kind of like the doorway into the Tardis. It’s big, heavy, gold and makes the place look very unwelcoming. And the blowfly-esque logo (is it a moth? A cicada?) made me wonder if I had found the right place or whether I was about to walk into a room full of teenage boys playing Time Crisis.

But the entry and the logo are my only criticisms. The food and service was superb, and our seat overlooking the state library lawns on a perfect spring day made me wistful for my uni years (though with the mains sitting at around the $28 mark, I certainly wouldn’t have been eating at SOS if I were still a student). We were offered some complimentary mini-crostinis to get the ball rolling, which was a lovely way to welcome us to the restaurant and wiped away my memories of the imposing entry.

Thankfully Zarina and Amelia are lunchalot aficionados, so indulged me when I wanted to take pics of the dishes as they arrived.

Ravioli ripieni di porcini e timo serviti con salsa di mirtilli e burro
Hand made ravioli pasta filled with fresh porcini and thyme served with butter and Tasmanian blueberries. This is the only item from a few weeks ago which is still on the menu, and I can’t remember the details of the other dishes we ate!

Taglierini with prawns

Cute little crostini with my favourite Italian phrase, mozzarella di buffala!

SOS
Level 3, Melbourne Central
211 La Trobe Street, Melbourne

Two weekends in a row, O and I have enjoyed outstanding tapas with James and Signorina Zaloa.

I was a little worried about choosing a restaurant for the Spanish Princess because she really knows her tapas. But after a morning at the Royal Melbourne Show and a birthday barbecue at Jess’s place in the afternoon, we were both pretty stuffed. Before you ask, yes, my diet had been pushed to the back burner of my mind for the day. Tapas was the logical choice.

Movida was booked out (I really wanted O to try their churros) but I remembered hearing about Bar Lourinha, the new Spanish/Portugese place on Little Collins St. They have big communal tables and don’t take bookings, so after a couple of drinks at the Gin Palace we walked right in and were able to get a table straight away.

It was only last night, but I already have so many fond memories of Bar Lourinha!

The first dish was mussels. Perfectly plump, meaty mussels cooked in an exquisite white wine sauce. The four of us were quite possessive about the bowl after the mussels had finished; the waitress kept trying to take it and we wanted to keep dipping the bread into the sauce.

Next was the carne crudo. Raw minced beef with horseradish, seasoned to perfection. Thankfully I wasn’t eating with squeamish diners and the four of us tucked in with Spanish gusto. (Or is that Italian?)

Next up was the chickpeas. Soft creamy chickpeas with a cinnamon spiciness. Usually chickpea dishes kind of hang around a shared food table for a while, but this one didn’t last long at all. I’d love to know how they spice that dish – it was one of the most unexpected seasonings I’ve tasted.

By now, the meal was really building to a crescendo. Four gorgeous little rabbit empanadillas. So cute… Muchos guapo! I just love a good dumpling. James taught O and I some colourful Spanish colloquialisms involving the Spanish word for rabbit which I won’t go into here…

Now the cymbals were really crashing and we hit the high note: The Flaming Chorizo. One gorgeously spicy chorizo sausage that was set alight at the table! It was all very dramatic, and the chorizo had a real kick to it. Perfecto!

After the incendiary climax, we cooled down with dessert. A couple of serves of churros (O got to try them after all, but I have to say the dipping sauce is better at Movida. Much more chocolatey). I chose the pomegranate and blood orange crema.

So I can’t wait to go back to Bar Lourinha. It’s a fantastic place to go with a small group so you can try everything on the menu!

Bar Lourinha
37 Little Collins St,
Melbourne

Yet another great brekkie spot in Yarraville. This time at the Feedback Cafe on Ballarat St. It’s tiny and cosy, and it’s hard to find a table, but they do a mean scrambled eggs and home made baked beans. And the tea even comes in real tea cups, complete with gold trim.

Last weekend O, Kathryn, Tim and I trod the well-beaten path to The Olde Horsham, which is now officially my favourite place to eat in the town. The four of us stopped in to make a reservation while driving by that morning and ended up chatting with the chef for a good twenty minutes before discovering an art gallery which was brimming with Pro Harts on the other side of the driveway.

Dinner was four great dishes with the same gusto and spirit that we enjoyed on our first visit. As per usual, Owen ordered the duckling, which was the stellar performance of the evening. I decided to satisfy my curiosity and tried the Steak Kilpatrick, which was a perfectly cooked fillet topped with bacon and oysters in a Worcestershire sauce, well… sauce. Kathryn had the lamb shanks while Tim chose the kangaroo (which Chef told us was shot by hunters in New South Wales… I am not sure whether to believe him!). They were four belly-filling good old fashioned country meals that left little room for dessert (somehow O and Kathryn managed a slice of sticky date pudding each!).

The following day we made a pilgrimage to the Mount Zero olive grove. Situated beneath the dramatic escarpment of Mt Zero, the olives grown here are transformed into some truly exceptional olive oils.

At the farmhouse gate, we nibbled on everything from wild olives, to manzanillas and the obligatory kalamatas. I fell in love with the dark sweetness of their beetroot and orange relish and couldn’t resist buying a jar. Beetroots are so good right now, I might even try and replicate it.

The café offered a simple vegetarian menu, of an amazing chunky lentil soup or falafels with salad and lentils. Mount Zero also offers a range of tiny puy lentils that are delicate enough to ensure they don’t intrude upon a dish in that vegetarian batik kaftan kind of way.

Footscray is Melbourne’s undiscovered culinary goldmine. Between all those fantastic Asian supermarkets, the continental deli legacy from the early days of “Foot-a-scry”, African restaurants, the mecca of the Footscray markets, and the back-to-back Vietnamese pho shops, it’s impossible to take a step down Barkly Street without finding something delicious to eat.

But as far as I am concerned, the jewel in Footscray’s crown is a tiny noodle shop tucked in the shopping strip around Footscray Markets. Amazingly it’s not a Vietnamese noodle place, but a Chinese one. 1+1 Dumpling Noodles (yes, that is its real name) serves some of the heartiest Chinese dumplings I’ve ever had.

It’s the kind of place where you grab your own bowls and chopsticks after ordering and sit next to the drinks fridge… and the veggie fridge. Don’t expect airs and graces here. But do expect some tasty dumpling soups, fried noodles and the best lamb skewers I have ever eaten.

The cuisine at 1+1 Dumpling Noodles is straight from the Xingjian province in western China, so you won’t find any of those Chinese restaurant staples, like lemon chicken or sweet and sour pork here. The food is meaty, spicy and slightly stodgy in a stick-to-your-ribs kind of a way, and has an exotic tang that makes me think of Genghis Khan and Hun warlords. I can imagine them chowing down on the same charred hunks of fatty lamb around their campfires in the Mongolian steppes.

The long ropes of noodles are made in front of you in a huge coil (just peer over the mirrored barrier at the counter to see how they do it) and the dumplings are created by hand with a deft flick of the thumb. You should see them pump out those dumplings!

The dumpling wrapper is thick – not the usual paper-thin wonton wrapper I am used to with Chinese dumplings. These are dumplings with real substance. They kind of remind me of the first time I tried to make ravioli and ended up with 5mm thick pasta sheets.

But the real piece de resistance is a mammoth dish known as ….. BIG PLATE CHICKEN! It’s a huge plastic platter about 30-40cm diameter filled to the brim with curried vegetables and pieces of chicken (you can choose either half a chicken or the whole chook), topped with a slithering pile of noodles. It’s big enough to feed a family of five, but the first time O and I went there we made the mistake of ordering this on top of dumpling soup, AND skewers!

We had lunch there last weekend; soup with dumplings, fried noodles with lamb, a few skewers each and a soft drink, and the bill came to the grand total of $23. Prices have crept up in recent months, but they’re still laughably low (soups around $7.50, skewers are $1.50 each - order one more than you think you’ll eat and you won’t regret it. They’re that good). It’s not often that two people can roll out of a restaurant stuffed to the gills with excellent traditional food for less than the price of two movie tickets.

1. Bala’s
Unbelievably good curries, samosas and curry puffs. Also has a fridge full of lassis and iced green tea. Best to takeaway and eat on the beach with a friend so you can pinch some of theirs when you finish yours. I can’t go past the chicken curries.

2. Cicciolina
One of Melbourne’s best restaurants. Get there early and go to the back bar for a drink, because they don’t take bookings. If they’ve got the blue swimmer crab soufflé on the menu, order it. Trust me.

3. Claypots
You can’t book here, so make sure you arrive early. This is not the place for people who don’t eat seafood. Fortunately, I am not one of these people. Order one of the fantastic platters of fish (it’s supremely fresh) and a couple of claypots crammed with all kinds of goodies (I like the Moroccan ones). In summer, try and get a table in the courtyard out the back.

4. Edelweiss
Great deli with a display of salads in the window that make me press my face up against the glass and drool shamelessly every time I walk down Acland St. This place was one of my first food discoveries when I moved to Melbourne in the late 90s, so it will always have a special place in my heart.

5. Clamms Fast Fish
The window displays at Clamms used to be really cool, with eels doing battle with huge tunas and that kind of thing. However they tamed them back a couple of years ago, which is a bit of a shame. But the fish and chips are still good. Eat ‘em on the beach with your feet in the sand.

6. Scheherezade
You can’t go past Scheherezade for nanna-style nostalgia. This place even has that gold-printed velour wallpaper that my grandparents had in their “good room”. The schnitzels are so big they flop off the side of the plate, and the matzo ball soup is chock-full of home-cooked goodness.

7. Krua Thai
Great Thai takeaway, and they deliver in the local area. I lived around St Kilda for several years, and this was always my first choice for a quick home delivered meal.

8. Gruner’s
For traditional European meat and sausages, head to Gruner’s Butcher. Between the ham hocks hanging from the ceiling and the Polish wedding sausage (yes, you heard me right) it’s a little piece of the old country right here in Melbourne.

9. Greasy Joe’s
The ultimate hangover greasy breakfast joint. Can’t go past the standard fry-up. Bring your sunglasses and St Kilda attitude.

10. 7 Apples
Finish on a high note with a gelati from 7 Apples. This gelati is almost on par with the tiramisu gelati for which I changed hotels while in Manarola, Italy (my original hotel was just too far from the gelateria). 7 Apples makes all their icecream from seasonal ingredients. Go in summer though – they close for winter.

I popped in at Gertrude Street Enoteca with Suse last week and I was won over by a chocolate, orange and pine nut cake. It didn’t look all that appealing (the pine nuts on top made it look a little bit like a health food cake… ergh) but when the waitress told me what type of cake it was I caved in instantly. Sometimes it is all too easy to shove that wedding dress to the back of my mind.

Oranges are unbelievable right now, so it’s not surprising to find orange-flavoured delicacies in every second café window. The cake had the velvety texture of a traditional chocolate cake, balanced with the liqueur-like tang of orange and the nutty crunch of pine nuts.

Enoteca also does an UNBELIEVABLE hot chocolate that even surpasses the chocolate masterpieces at The European on Spring St. This is real Italian-style cioccolata calda – a deep, dark syrup of steaming chocolate sin, with a flavour so strong that you can’t help but close your eyes with every sip.